“What if,” I interjected with building exasperation “you are the problematic party in that relationship?” This was the 5th time I was forced to dish out relationship advice to my 3 odd months colleague, for a relationship whose history I scarcely knew, nor its evolved nuances as it stands months down the line.
“Maybe you are the toxin in the shared system that is your relationship” I said not without a touch of cruelty, because deep down all I really wanted was to be left alone to do the work for which I was being paid by the hour.
The look of decided seriousness on her face jolted me into thinking that maybe my own exasperation is my fault too, perhaps giving a listening ear to this lost soul every now and then isn’t the death sentence I seem to respond to it as, this one listening ear maybe all the difference between a sane colleague and one who has lost her marbles.
So I parked up and breathed in my frustration and breathed out my release from it, then I looked at her expectant with empathy, and waited to hear what she thought. “I don’t know, he can be such a pain to bear” she said after a minute of silent rumination that felt like a muted eternity, “I think I will let all the blame sit at his doorstep.” She said grinning, I grinned with her in tow even as I ran a quick mental math of the lost productivity to this conversation.
Empathy is costly, but it is a cost that is worth every last Kobo. It is true that very often when people ask for our opinions they just need to be affirmed in their already formed convictions, and that is okay. We are all drudging through this thing called life, a little affirmation from others is certainly needful.