For over six months, I’ve been watching myself. I sometimes overthink everything, and I don’t think about anything at all. Yeah, that’s the complication that I go through in my life.
I didn’t understand this until October last year.
I am usually the girl who never thinks anything is sufficient, especially when it comes to something that I have done or anything that I have to do. I do not see that I have ever done enough or that I could ever do enough. This is why I think too much into an idea, a visit, a gift, a phone call, text message or this write up that I should have written since yesterday that I have been thinking about it. Usually, overthinking it eventually leads to not doing it at all.
Exactly! Most phone calls, text messages, and most especially ideas never made it past the stage of conception. Just because I thought too much into it to the point that they became bad ideas.
However, I learn every day and I am beginning to realize that nothing will ever be good enough. I probably will never see any of my work as perfect. Nothing I do for anyone will probably ever be enough (they, and I, might not even see it as anything). No sacrifice I make now for my future, for life, and for happiness will oftentimes look like barely scratching the surface.
But the minute that it feels good to do, the moment the idea comes through and it looks promising, I had better get to work. Or else, it will never get done. It will again fizzle out joining a pile of dead ideas that begged for survival. I better act on it when I think it is worth it.
Because it will never be perfect.
No, it will never be.
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