Oloriburuku

(by Opeyemi Awoyemi)

Oloriburuku: Owner of bad head: cursed; incapable of achieving anything meaningful.

There are times when a young person gets into some unfortunate circumstance, usually characterized by material lack, and finds himself/herself helpless and unable to move on and up. See, poverty and bad times have both got a high price - you pay dearly with everything and it’s hard to get out. It leads to a vicious circle - where lack causes bad decisions and more lack causes more bad decisions and on and on. 

Over the years, I’ve worked with people who’ve found themselves in such situations and while some were able to get out, many more felt stuck and couldn’t make it out.

If you are in such a situation, I will love to share a few tips that may help.

1. Recognize that you are between a rock and a hard place, and you need to be hard on yourself to get out. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Being poor deprives you of knowledge, options, and opportunities that readily come to others. Nothing is given to you freely, you will need to put in more work.

2. The most abundant resource you have is time. Invest that time to get knowledge and skills. Learn a readily monetizable skill. For free, if possible. Do not spend money that you don’t have.

3. Associate yourself with people more successful than you are. Your current situation will naturally lead you to making bad decisions, so this is the time you need to let someone who you trust guide you to success.  Please be careful, you also don’t want someone to take advantage of your situation. A real mentor gives and supports without asking for anything in return. They will give you instructions which you should follow as long as they don’t benefit from it beyond typical working relationship (in the case of the mentor being your employer).

4. Surround yourself with people that are smarter and more successful - and ask for their advice constantly. 

5. Avoid anything that will reset all your efforts back to ground zero: This is the time to be loyal, this is the time to avoid burning bridges. 

6. Don’t stay idle. An idle hand is the devil’s workshop. Do what your hand findeth to do.

7. Don’t be in a hurry to spend the little you have to live a good life. A good life is not just about the upfront cost, you need to maintain it. There is no sense in buying a car if you can’t pay for its servicing. You can delay buying that phone or laptop, car or renting your own apartment. Spend less than you earn. The only thing you should not deny yourself is food. 

8. Stop thinking a particular amount of money will solve your problem - what you need is a constant and stable inflow of money no matter how little. You can’t build a lasting lifestyle with “hammer” money, a stable income will ensure you’re never poor again.

9. Open your mind. Don’t be rigid, be flexible.

10. Open your mouth. Ask for favors. Intros, learning opportunities, temporary shelter.

11. Don’t beg for money, however, try to get a lot of things for free or for cheap. Need something? Ask for that thing, and not money. Money is a means, not the solution. Moreover, people feel less awkward helping when you don’t ask for money. 

12. Figure out how to help successful people who don’t need your help. This is difficult. How could you possibly help a millionaire? If you can find something they need (not money) and do it, they will be obliged to help you someday when you most need it.

13. Find some hope/comfort in the fact that, you are not living the worst life on earth.

14. You will be tempted to give up, as your brain is by now, programmed to think short term. Fight it. Fight hard for your own survival, for your freedom.

15. If for some reason you give up, don’t give up on your offspring (for those with kids).

Life is not fair. We would always have the unfortunate in our midst, but it doesn’t have to be you.

I wish you well.

*Opeyemi is an incurable optimist, entrepreneur, father, husband, and Godson.

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If this daily message blesses you, tweet, share or forward it to your friends and loved ones. Even, those who think themselves your enemies :).