Join Chioma Agwuegbo tomorrow on #WithChude

For International Women’s Day, I invite my dear friend Chioma Agwuegbo to rip off the band-aid, ignore the pretty and sometimes patronising, and confront the work that still needs to be done for equality and safety for women and girls in Nigeria, and across the world. 

And we kick off the conversation from the infamous Jeffrey Toobin incident in America - an issue for which she had some education on male privilege to share with me last year. 

Chioma’s work over the past few years has been incredibly inspiring and incredibly empowering for so many. 

It was a gift to sit, listen and learn.

Click here at 9:00pmWAT this Saturday to join Chioma on #WithChude

Intentions matter, but actions matter more

Akah: (talking about what’s next for him)

The way I now deliver content on Akah Bants has changed; there has now been tweaks. I have seen my wrongs; I have seen some of the things I said, that even though they were in the right perspective or intention, there were ways I could have done better and be better.

Chude: That’s powerful. I used to be a person of intentions, and these days I tell myself that my intention (alone) doesn’t matter. It’s the action that counts.

Akah: Yeah. For me, intention also matters, because the truth is that I believe that God sees the intention. Your intention also carries the energy you do things with, and what you derive.

Your intention matters, but it shouldn’t be the only thing. You should learn to hold yourself accountable with the actions you take.

Akah Nnani is a Nigerian-born Actor, YouTuber, TV/Online Show Host, and Content Creator.

Listen to this conversation

'Broken from seeing this'

Chude: How was it like for you leaving your church because your pastor had been accused of something as serious as rape?

Akah: People don't understand the magnitude of rape. Rape doesn't just affect the victim, it affects the people around the victim. It affects the loved ones of the perpetrator.

I was broken from seeing this.

What I was fighting against was the rape culture; that was for me a more important fight. It was more than the pastor or the victim, it was about the environment. It was about how the pastor responded, how that response was taken and received and how Nigerians behaved around the issue.

That was why I started the hashtag #Pastorstepdown. It was not about right or wrong, I hadn't formed an opinion but what was the responsible thing to do - how the church responds to [the] things to do.

Akah Nnani is a Nigerian-born Actor, YouTuber, TV/Online Show Host, and Content Creator.

Listen to this conversation

Communicate how you feel, no matter what it is

Chude: Watching the video (you and your wife shared on YouTube) makes me want to ask this. Do you sometimes get scared of being that vulnerable?

Akah: You know, vulnerability is not even my style. But being vulnerable with my wife is one of the hardest things I had to do and learn because I didn’t know I was even ‘unvulnerable’.

I didn’t know what vulnerability was. My father didn’t teach me vulnerability. I didn’t see men that were vulnerable. And when I saw it on TV, I felt (like screaming) “get yourself together, man.”

I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know that it was one of the things that we should look out for. I didn’t know that it was one of the things that my wife wanted…

Seing how it was making our relationship to be stagnant instead of progressing, and her need for a man who was willing to be vulnerable made me begin to learn about vulnerability.

I learnt to communicate how I feel, no matter what it is.

Akah Nnani is a Nigerian born Actor, YouTuber, TV/Online Show Host and Content Creator.

Listen to this conversation

Love is a decision to serve another human being

What I learnt from my conversation with Akah Nnani - a conversation that was filled with so much depth, is that love is a decision to serve another human being willingly, bounteously, and joyfully. 

The past 5 years of my life, when I started a company called Joy, Inc. was when I began to learn, about emotions and about human relationships and spirit - and this was one of the most important things I learnt: yes, meeting each other’s needs is important, but love is a decision to serve another human being. 

It’s really easier when we think of it with children but it’s not that easy when we think of it with romantic partners - be it lovers, partners, wives or husbands. 

That’s what Akah was pointing to and it resonated.

“It doesn’t matter how this person chooses to show up, I love this person and I choose to serve this person”, he said.

I thought that was so powerful.

See video version

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